A Letter from DRWC Founders, Heather & Trish
Happy Spring: Celebrating the Season of Change
Dear Reader,
As spring blooms around us, we are reminded that growth is a dynamic, living process — full of both exciting expansions and necessary contractions. In the spirit of the season, we are thrilled to introduce Dalliance’s May newsletter, dedicated to exploring these rhythms in relationships, in personal journeys, and within the larger story of our practice.
Spring is a time of possibility, and here at Dalliance Relationship Wellness Center, we feel that energy deeply. We are growing — welcoming new clinicians to our team, expanding our services, and accepting Cigna, United, and Kaiser insurances to make mental health care more accessible to more people who need and deserve it. These changes reflect our ongoing commitment to serve our community with open arms and open hearts.
In this edition of our newsletter, we’ll be diving into the natural cycles of expansion and contraction that happen in relationships — with ourselves, with our partners, and in the realms of sexual wellness. It’s important to normalize that relationships, like all living things, have seasons too. There are times of blossoming and connection, and times of pulling inward for reflection and recalibration. Both are necessary. Both are beautiful.
We are dedicated to walking alongside our clients through all phases of their journeys — offering support, guidance, and space for authentic growth. Just like a garden needs both sunshine and rain, we know that meaningful change often comes from embracing both joy and challenge with compassion.
We are so excited for all that’s ahead — for our practice, for our growing team, and most of all, for the opportunity to continue supporting our clients and our colleagues as you navigate your own seasons of change.
Here’s to a spring full of hope, renewal, and the courage to grow.
Warmly,
Heather & Trish
Founders and Clinical Directors at Dalliance Relationship Wellness Center
Be sure to check out our new website www.dalliancetherapycenter.com
We invite you to stay connected with us via this newsletter, our Instagram page @dalliance_rwc, our Facebook page @Dalliance Relationship Wellness, our X (Twitter) page @dalliance_rwc, our Pinterest page @dalliance_rwc.
Important Update: We are now in-network with Kaiser, United & Cigna
At Dalliance Relationship Wellness Center, we believe that quality therapy should be accessible to everyone, which is why we’re proud to announce we are in-network with Cigna, Kaiser, and United. We know that navigating the financial side of therapy can be overwhelming, so we’ve made it easier for individuals, couples, and families to get the support they need without added stress.
With our recent rebrand, we’re offering even more services to help you build healthier relationships, deepen emotional connections, and strengthen overall well-being. In addition to our expertise in relationships and sexual wellness, we now provide compassionate support for anxiety, depression, life transitions, family therapy, and more. Our goal is to help you build a balanced, healthy life—emotionally, mentally, and relationally. Whatever challenges you’re facing, we’re here to support you on your journey toward well-being. If you are a current client and want to use your insurance benefits, please reach out to your therapist to coordinate.
The Expansion and Contraction of Relationships & Intimacy
Relationships are living, breathing things. Like lungs, like tides, like the phases of the moon – they expand and contract. And that’s not only normal – it’s necessary.
We often expect intimacy to be a constant: always connected, always close, always open. But real relationships don’t work that way. Whether romantic, platonic, or familial, relationships need to breathe.
In therapy, we often talk about connection as something that comes and goes—but not in a way that’s “bad” or broken. Just like your breath, or the ocean tide, relationships naturally expand and contract over time.
Understanding this rhythm can help reduce panic, shame, or blame when you or someone you love feels distant.
Expansion:
These are the moments when we feel emotionally open and connected. We lean in. We share more. We feel seen. There’s warmth, energy, and mutual curiosity. These are the seasons of “US”—when things feel spacious, possible, alive.
This is when things feel open and connected. You might notice:
- More physical or emotional closeness
- Easier conversations
- A sense of play, curiosity, or energy
- A willingness to be vulnerable
Contraction:
And then sometimes, relationships pull back. We get quiet. We focus inward. We protect. Sometimes, we’re just surviving. We might withdraw to recharge, process, or feel safe. Contraction doesn’t always mean something is wrong. It can be a protective pause, a reset, a signal that someone’s nervous system needs space. Contraction is not necessarily disconnection. It’s often a protective response to stress, overload, or emotional vulnerability. People contract for many reasons: nervous system overwhelm, trauma, burnout, anxiety, or unspoken needs.
This is when things tighten or pull inward. You might notice:
- Less conversation or eye contact
- One or both people feeling more irritable or quiet
- A need for alone time, silence, or space
- Emotional walls going up—often for protection
Why This Matters:
When we don’t understand contraction, we often:
- Take it personally (“They don’t care about me anymore”)
- Blame ourselves (“I must’ve done something wrong”)
- React in ways that increase the distance (“Fine then—I’ll shut down too”)
But when we name what’s happening, we can meet it with compassion instead of conflict.
What helps:
- Name the shift without blame: “I’ve been feeling a little distance—can we check in?”
- Stay curious instead of reactive: “What might you be needing right now—connection, space, support?”
- Normalize the rhythm/cycle: “I think we’re in a contracting moment. That’s okay. We’ll find our way back.”
- Co-regulate gently: Sometimes it’s not about “fixing” but sitting with the quiet together.
- Practice soft repair: Gentle check-ins, small gestures of warmth, or just sitting quietly together can go a long way.
- Own your experience without blame: “I’ve been feeling a little disconnected lately—can we talk about what’s happening between us?”
Relationships don’t need to be perfect to be real. Intimacy doesn’t always look like constant closeness. Sometimes it’s about trusting the space between you to hold both of you through the shifts. Relationships breathe. And when you allow that rhythm, you give your connection room to grow stronger over time. They need space to breathe.
Dalliance in Practice
A Monthly Therapeutic Tool from Our Couch to Your Inbox
The Relational Pulse
Expand & Contract as a Tool for Emotional Awareness
Have you and your partner reflect and answer the following (verbally or in writing):
When I’m expanding, I tend to…
- (e.g., reach out more, feel affectionate, talk more openly…)
When I’m contracting, I tend to…
- (e.g., get quiet, shut down, feel overwhelmed, avoid touch…)
In the past, I’ve misunderstood my partner’s contraction as…
- (e.g., rejection, disinterest, anger…)
When I feel you pull back, I tend to tell myself…
Something I wish my partner knew about my rhythm is…
- (e.g., “Even when I pull away, I still care.”)
It helps me stay connected when you…
Daily Practice
Once a day, ask: “Are you feeling more expansive or contracted today?”
Follow-up: “How can I support you in that?”
