So many people cannot answer the question “how do you define your sexuality?”
In other words, how you define the place you go within yourself, the parts that define what sex is to you and what makes you feel sexual, the parts that you may share with another. We all have a “sexual template” that integrates our values, beliefs, influences, and life experiences related to sex. However, sometimes, our templates were created from ideas or constructs that are not helpful to us or our relationships.
At Dalliance, we provide clients space that is free of judgement as they gain insight into how their individual roles, thought patterns, reactions, and behaviors impact the intimacy and connection in their relationships. We support clients as they re-write and redefine those unhelpful scripts so they can have lives full of sexiness, pleasure and connection.
Healthy sexuality is more than a set of performance-based behaviors with the goal being orgasm.
Healthy sex involves pleasure, curiosity, vulnerability, and authenticity. If you are ready to expand your view of sex to integrate experiences of mind, body and spirit, call, text or email to schedule your first session with one of our clinicians!
Instead of seeing sexual differences as negative or bad, what if we can redefine them to focus on our ability to feel pleasure during our sexual experiences?
Sex is often not “safe” for people in emotional or physical pain. Some people develop a fear of engaging in sex; others avoid even talking about sex. When leaning into fear and avoidance, they give up on pleasure and sexuality.
Dalliance helps people overcome these challenges and instead lean into their sexual selves. Sex therapy is for more than bodies that are not working the way we want them to. The sex and relationship therapists at Dalliance are trained to help individuals and couples navigate all aspects of sexuality that can show up inside and outside of the bedroom.
We provide therapy that focuses on issues related to gender and sexual identity and lifestyle, relationship structure, and sexual interests and behaviors that aren’t always talked about.
We understand that women can have a complicated relationship with sex and sexuality due to societal messages and sex-negative stigma. When issues like sexual pain or low desire, or even difficulties with sexual communication and confidence show up in your relationship, it can feel lonely and like no one can understand. Dalliance believes that you deserve a life filled with sexual pleasure and sexiness.
Sex therapy for women can help with a variety of sexual issues that you may be struggling with. We provide evidence-based education, resources, and tools to dive deep into the issue so you can grow and heal and have a satisfying sex life.
Not having interest in sex with your partner can have a negative toll on your relationship. We’ll focus on and uncover what’s leading to your lack of libido, provide you with tools and information, and support you to heal your relationship with your sex drive so you can get back to feeling connected with your own body and in your relationships.
Maybe you’ve received a diagnosis of chronic vulvar pain, vulvodynia, dyspareunia, or vaginismus. Or you’ve started to or have been experiencing pelvic and vaginal pain during sex. We’ll work with you to identify what may be causing discomfort, connect you with professionals who can support your journey, and help you start having pain-free sex again.
Women can have a harder time being able to orgasm during partnered sex, and even sometimes alone. We often use behavioral exercises to provide you with resources and healing for any emotional or psychological blocks that are in the way of your pleasure.
Being able to speak up and talk about what you like or don’t like and feeling good about yourself as a sexual being are integral parts of sex. Social norms, gender expectations, or our own self-worth history often get in the way. Dalliance therapists will work with you to explore and move through these feelings and learn how to have a more connected, confident, and compassionate relationship with yourself.
When your body goes through the changes that come with fertility and pregnancy, sex also changes. Society doesn’t do a good job of teaching women how to allow their body to be dual-purpose; that is, how to grow and nurture another human from conception to birth and beyond, and be sexual in nature at the same time. Whatever you may be experiencing, sex therapy can help you connect with your changing/changed body and your new sexuality.
Sexual trauma of any kind creates a lack of safety in our bodies and a fear of letting go with another person. When trauma occurs, our minds and bodies often separate, as our bodies have to be able to continue experiencing the world, but our brains have to find a way to survive it. Working with one of the Dalliance therapists can help you address and heal from any type of sexual abuse, unwanted experiences, or trauma and help you rebuild and recreate intimacy and confidence in your body and self.
Men have often been taught from an early age that their sexual ability is directly tied to their masculinity. When issues such as erectile dysfunction or a lack of confidence arise, they may feel broken or that they are less of a man. Sex therapy can help by providing tools to work through physical or emotional issues and address any blocks present to get back to feeling confident in themselves sexually.
If you are someone who struggles with performance-based sexpectations or a lack of confidence, sex therapy can also help with varying sexual issues that might be showing up on your own or with your partner. Sessions may include evidence-informed education, resources, and behavioral tools to help manage symptoms while working to help you grow and heal so you can feel more in control of your body and confidence.
The therapists at Dalliance can help you focus on identifying the cause of difficulties with obtaining or maintaining an erection and work with a variety of resources, tools, and techniques to feel more in control of your body.
Feeling completely out of sync with your body and ejaculation can create a lot of anxiety about and during sex. These issues are common with illness or disease, medication or substance use, or anxiety. Therapy can help you gain control and work through whatever is leading to things happening a bit too fast or not at all so you no longer avoid sex or have to be concerned with what a sexual encounter might be like.
If sexual experiences with a partner bring up fear, uncertainty, or body image concerns, performance anxiety or low sexual self-esteem may be the problem. At Dalliance you can work through anxiety or negative thoughts and beliefs that are getting in the way of being confident.
Feeling detached or a lack of desire for sex with your partner or even on your own can be challenging. Feeling disconnected from your sex drive can be even more difficult when everyone tells you that it is a part of masculinity. Sex therapy can help you identify the cause of your lack of desire and work to heal and feel more in control of your desire for sex.
DIFFERENCES IN DESIRE
At one point or another, all relationships will have partners that have a different interest in the frequency of sexual activity and connection. Some of us shift naturally through this, but for others, it can cause tension and resentment in the relationship. We can work together with all partners to feel more aligned and in tune in their sexual connection and not worry that rejection and undesirability will be a permanent and continuous part of their relationship.
SELF-PLEASURE
At Dalliance, we believe there is value in exploring your own body with your own body. Our therapists can help you explore what values and beliefs you have about self-pleasuring and if they are helpful influences to the relationship you want to have with yourself and others sexually.
INTIMACY/SEX AFTER INFIDELITY
Sex after infidelity can be complicated if you or your partner have had/disclosed an affair in current or previous relationships. Some people have more frequent or “better” sex and others find it hard to return to sexual intimacy. Some people want to know all the details of an affair, and others want to know very little. After an affair, it often takes increased communication and exploration to bring healing and repair to the relationship and our therapists can help.
CHRONIC ILLNESS/DISABILITY OR PAIN
All too often, chronic illness and the treatments or medications for illness, negatively impact the way our bodies and minds function sexually. This can be demoralizing and debilitating for people. Research shows that the brains of people in chronic pain function differently than people not in pain. We all know someone, or are that someone, that has been affected by illness or treatment. Instead of wishing our bodies to be “unbroken”, we must rebuild or redefine how we see our sexual selves and lives. Our therapists help you process your diagnosis/disability and heal from shame or guilt that often comes with illness/disability and pain. Having a satisfying, pleasure-filled sex life is possible if we are willing to think differently about our bodies and sex.
ALTERNATIVE SEXUAL LIFESTYLES
Monogamy is considered the norm in our society, and yet, it may not be where you are at or what you are looking for in a relationship. If you’ve been thinking about opening up your relationship or are attempting to navigate some challenges you may be experiencing through ethical non-monogamy, all therapists at Dalliance are ethical non-monogamy competent and aware to help you find the right relationship structure for you.
KINK & BDSM
You may have noticed that your sexual fantasies and interests aren’t as mainstream or “vanilla” as others and are unsure how to feel about it or even navigate it. On the other hand, you may know that kink is part of your life and are needing some support with your exploration. Working with a therapist at Dalliance will help to empower you to understand your erotic interests and desires and learn to explore them in a safe, consensual, and risk-aware way!
LGBTQ2S+ CONCERNS
Coming out to yourself or to others can be scary, and navigating those transitions on your own can be tough. If you would like to explore this area of your identity and concerns that may be coming up around it, our team is LGBTQ2S+ informed.
BEHAVIORS OR THOUGHTS THAT FEEL OUT OF CONTROL
Dalliance has a licensed therapist on staff who can work with clients virtually, who is extensively trained to support clients who struggle with behaviors, thoughts or interests that may seem atypical, unusual or even out of control. Shifting from this feeling of powerlessness, you can start to feel confident and connected to sex and heal what is driving these feelings and behaviors.
In understanding and embracing our sexual selves, recognizing and addressing our desires and challenges is pivotal. Sexual health is a multifaceted journey, intertwining physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Professionals in sex therapy emphasize the importance of exploring one’s sexual identity, fostering open communication, and addressing issues such as libido discrepancies and sexual dysfunction.
These steps are crucial for individuals and couples striving to achieve a fulfilling sexual relationship, highlighting the significance of professional guidance in overcoming obstacles and enhancing intimacy.
You want to increase communication with partner(s) that is loving, playful and deepens your connection.
You want to receive education and ideas to enhance your sexuality and relationships.
You want to become more comfortable with self-pleasuring.
You want help dealing with transitions and life stages, such as pre-marital counseling, dealing with parenting challenges, blending families, becoming empty nesters, job changes, losing a loved one, etc.
You experience pain or physical difficulty when you try to have sex.
You want and/or need to process sexual trauma and overcome sexual shame.
You are in a partnership with mismatched libidos.
You want to explore opening your relationship or participating in an alternative sexual lifestyle.
You are questioning your gender identity or exploring your sexual orientation.
You are dealing with chronic pain or illness and your body doesn’t work the way it used to or how you think it should.
You want to address concerns about sexual functioning, feelings and intimacy.
You would like to explore challenges regarding perinatal, postnatal or fertility issues.
You want help healing from infidelity.
You want to incorporate psychedelic therapies into your mental health treatment.
You use sex to self-soothe or experience intense need for sex frequently.
You want support in talking to your kids about their bodies and sex and pleasure.
Mindfulness in sexuality fosters a deep connection between mental presence and physical experiences, leading to enhanced intimacy and pleasure. By integrating mindfulness practices, individuals can navigate sexual anxiety, improve communication, and explore desires with openness and curiosity.
This approach encourages a non-judgmental awareness of one’s body and sensations, promoting a fulfilling sexual journey free from performance pressure. Mindfulness, coupled with professional sex therapy, offers a pathway to discovering the true potential of sexual wellness.
Sex therapy serves as a beacon of hope and empowerment for those navigating the complexities of sexual health. It provides a safe space for exploration and understanding, offering strategies to address common issues like low desire, erectile dysfunction, and communication barriers. Through personalized sessions, a certified sex therapist can guide individuals and couples towards a more satisfying and meaningful sexual experience, emphasizing the role of therapy in achieving sexual fulfillment and wellness.
Intimacy extends beyond physical connections, encompassing emotional, intellectual, and spiritual bonds. Techniques such as sensate focus exercises and open dialogue about sexual desires and boundaries can significantly enhance intimacy. These practices encourage couples to explore their relationship in new depths, fostering a stronger, more connected bond. By addressing emotional needs and sexual expectations, sex therapy plays a crucial role in deepening intimacy and reinforcing the foundation of trust and understanding between partners.
Mental health and sexual wellness are deeply intertwined, with each influencing the other in significant ways. Challenges such as stress, anxiety, and depression can adversely affect libido, sexual satisfaction, and overall relationship dynamics. Sex therapy integrates mental health support, offering tools and strategies to manage psychological barriers to a fulfilling sex life. Addressing mental health concerns within the context of sex therapy can lead to improved sexual function and a deeper, more meaningful connection with oneself and one’s partner.
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy sexual relationship. It involves expressing desires, boundaries, and concerns openly and without judgment. Strategies such as scheduled intimacy talks, practicing active listening, and using “I” statements to express feelings and needs can greatly improve sexual communication. These methods help partners to understand and fulfill each other’s needs, fostering a climate of trust and mutual respect. Sex therapy often focuses on enhancing these communication skills, recognizing their pivotal role in achieving sexual satisfaction and relationship harmony.
Understanding and embracing one’s sexual identity and preferences is vital for sexual wellness. This journey involves exploring and accepting various aspects of sexuality, including orientation, desires, and practices. Sex therapy provides a supportive environment for individuals to explore their identity without fear of judgment, encouraging self-acceptance and confidence. Addressing questions and concerns about sexual preferences within therapy sessions can lead to greater self-awareness and fulfillment.
Mindfulness practices, such as focused breathing and mindful meditation, can enhance sexual health by reducing stress, improving body awareness, and increasing emotional connection during sexual activities. These techniques allow individuals to be fully present during intimacy, enhancing pleasure and connection. Sex therapy often incorporates mindfulness to help individuals and couples develop a deeper, more satisfying sexual relationship, emphasizing the transformative power of being present in the moment.
