A Letter from DRWC Founders, Heather & Trish
Hello Dear Reader,
We’re diving deep this month—not just that kind of deep (though we fully support consensual exploration in that department). We’re talking about the many flavors of intimacy: emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual, playful, and experiential… basically all the ways humans can connect without needing a safe word.
At our practice, we know relationships and sexual wellness aren’t just about candlelight dinners or steamy weekends away (though those can be fun). They’re also about those little moments of connection—inside jokes, shared goals, tough conversations, late-night “what if” talks, and yes, even parallel play on the couch with your favorite shows.
This month, we’ll be serving up tips, reflections, and maybe a few eyebrow-raising truths to help you deepen intimacy in all its forms. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, situationship-ing, or just really into your houseplants, there’s something here for you.
So buckle up (or… unbuckle, your call) and join us as we explore the layered, messy, beautiful world of intimacy.
With warmth (and a wink),
Heather & Trish
Founders and Clinical Directors at Dalliance Relationship Wellness Center
Be sure to check out our website www.dalliancetherapycenter.com
We invite you to stay connected with us via this newsletter, our Instagram page @dalliance_rwc, our Facebook page @Dalliance Relationship Wellness, our X (Twitter) page @dalliance_rwc, our Pinterest page @dalliance_rwc.
6 Types of Intimacy (And Only One Involves Getting Naked)
hen you hear the word intimacy, be honest—do you immediately think sex? You’re not alone. Most people’s minds zip straight to the bedroom. But babe, real intimacy is so much more than a hot makeout or steamy night (though those are fun too).
Deep, lasting, soul-stirring relationships—whether they’re romantic, platonic, or the beautifully messy in-betweens—are built on layers. Think of intimacy like a sexy little charcuterie board: it’s not just one flavor, it’s a delicious spread. And to build something that actually feeds your soul, you need more than just one type.
There are 6 types of intimacy (nope, not 8—we are all about quality over quantity here at Dalliance), and when you nurture all of them? Holy moly – the connection hits different.
1. Emotional Intimacy
This is the heartbeat of every deep connection. It’s about getting real—sharing your messy feels, wild dreams, secret fears—and being met with zero judgment. Vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s foreplay for the soul.
Build it with: radical honesty, big listening energy, and unapologetic truth-telling.
2. Physical Intimacy
Yes, this includes sex—but it’s also the casual, delicious kind of touch: hand-holding, bear hugs, sleepy cuddles, sitting thigh-to-thigh for no reason. Touch says “I’m here” without a single word.
Build it with: intentional affection, knowing your partner’s comfort zone, and touching just because you can.
3. Intellectual Intimacy
This is foreplay for your brain. It’s about stimulating convo, mental sparring, sharing wild ideas, or passionately disagreeing (and still turning each other on).
Build it with: thought-provoking chats, curious questions, and that smirk you give when they say something smart.
4. Experiential Intimacy
Shared moments = shared meaning. Whether you’re dancing at a wedding, building IKEA furniture (without fighting!), or running errands in PJs—experiencing life together builds connection.
Build it with: spontaneous adventures, silly rituals, and making memories you’ll laugh about in 10 years.
5. Spiritual Intimacy
No, this isn’t about matching your astrology signs (though we love a good compatibility chart). It’s about values, purpose, and that “we’re in this life thing together” vibe.
Build it with: deep talks, aligned missions, and wondering about the universe while tangled up in each other.
6. Playful Intimacy
Oh honey, don’t skip this one. Playfulness is the flirty, mischievous, giggly glue that keeps it all fun. It’s the inside jokes, the goofy dares, the way you wink across the room like you’re planning trouble.
Build it with: turning chores into sexy challenges, sending voice notes that make them blush, and having so much fun people assume you’re up to no good (you probably are).
The takeaway?
If you want juicy, lasting connection—don’t just focus on the spark in the bedroom. Build intimacy everywhere. Layer it, play with it, make it yours. The deeper you go (emotionally, spiritually, sensually), the hotter and more soulful it gets.
QUIZ: Which Type of Intimacy Is Your Relationship Hungry For?
(Because love languages are so last season)
1. Your perfect Saturday together looks like…
A) Curling up and having a deep heart-to-heart about life.
B) Wandering through a museum, debating which art piece looks most like your ex.
C) Spending the day in bed. Enough said.
D) Laughing uncontrollably while trying to cook a complicated meal together.
E) Road-tripping somewhere random with zero plans.
F) Sitting under the stars wondering if aliens are judging Earth.
2. The last time you felt really close to your partner was when…
A) They really listened (like, really listened) to your feelings.
B) You had that mind-blowing discussion about your favorite podcast.
C) They hugged you so tight it felt like home.
D) You laughed so hard you almost peed a little.
E) You tackled a project together and actually survived.
F) You talked about your shared dreams for the future.
3. Your couple “theme song” would be…
A) “Say You Won’t Let Go” – James Arthur
B) “Talk” – Khalid
C) “Let’s Get It On” – Marvin Gaye
D) “Happy” – Pharrell Williams
E) “Life Is a Highway” – Tom Cochrane
F) “Higher Love” – Kygo & Whitney Houston
4. Your partner surprises you with a date. You hope it’s…
A) A quiet dinner where you can really connect.
B) A lecture or trivia night that will get your brain buzzing.
C) A couples massage (with lots of lingering touches).
D) An improv comedy show.
E) A spontaneous adventure—no Google Maps allowed.
F) A sound bath, meditation, or vision-boarding session.
Results
Mostly A’s – Emotional Intimacy
Your relationship is craving heart-level connection. Schedule time for conversations that go deeper than “How was your day?”
Mostly B’s – Intellectual Intimacy
Your brain loves to flirt. Find new topics, books, or debates to sink your teeth into together.
Mostly C’s – Physical Intimacy
Touch is your glue. This doesn’t have to mean sex—small physical gestures count, too.
Mostly D’s – Playful Intimacy
Your relationship thrives when you laugh together. Schedule fun, even if it’s ridiculous. Especially if it’s ridiculous.
Mostly E’s – Experiential Intimacy
Shared adventures bring you closer. Try something new and slightly outside your comfort zone.
Mostly F’s – Spiritual Intimacy
You’re hungry for meaning and purpose together. Explore conversations or practices that connect you to something bigger.
Therapist in the Spotlight: Cate Moll
Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your background as a therapist?
My draw to be a therapist is to support folks in their exploration of themselves- finding their unique versions of pleasure, relational preferences, empowerment and inner growth. I am a body psychotherapist, so my approach is deeply rooted in somatic therapy and Internal Family Systems. I work through the lens of acknowledging that our bodies hold tremendous knowledge (and potentially trauma) and we can use our body as an instrument for healing and deeper understanding of self. This looks like using body based approaches like engaging in movement, felt sense exploration, polyvagal theory embodiment, self touch and so much more.
What is your therapist superpower?
My superpower is similar to yours, our bodies hold innate genius! I connect with clients by attuning to their body language and piecing together the congruence or incongruence of their body, speech and mind patterns. This helps me relate and connect to clients, enriching the therapeutic dynamic. Of course, the clients consent to use a somatic lens in our therapy journey is a priority to me. I am dedicated to using a trauma informed approach and that always begins with consent.
What part of you has grown the most through being a therapist?
My relationships! Some relationships are closer than ever, and others have intentionally been dissolved (for the better). I am the most honest with myself and others than I ever have been about what pleasure, play and trust means to me in a relationship. Being a therapist has offered undeniable transparency about my desires and needs within relationships. Navigating relationships has never felt so refreshing.
How do you approach the therapeutic relationship with your clients?
The relationship between the client and therapist is the golden nugget of therapy. My intention is to create nurturing rapport with the client so that the time we spend together feels trustworthy and supportive. The client is the expert of their own experience. I will not pretend to know the answers or what is best for a client. This means keeping in mind their locations of identity so that all of what they hold is in the space, being considered and honored throughout our work together.
What is the most effective intervention you find yourself giving to clients lately?
Parts work/Gestalt Empty Chair. We all have extremely valuable, wise parts that live within us. These parts guide us, inhibit us and send us messages about how to relate to the world. I love bringing parts work into the therapy room to support clients in gaining a deeper understanding of why and how they may respond, react and relate to certain things in life. It can feel so validating to uncover and tend to our life long conditioning. Sometimes accessing parts of us feels like magic! During parts work, aspects of life can begin to make more sense and doors can have room to be opened.
What would you compare therapy to?
I’d compare therapy to a roller coaster (I know, riveting analogy). Therapy is non-linear. There is surprise, ease, fear, tummy aches, excitement, laughter, tears and so much more, much like a roller coaster. In both scenarios, all the feelings are acceptable and healthy.
What are your top 5 favorite wellness and self-care strategies.
Sleep, home cooked meals, exploring new pleasure techniques, really deep breaths, laughter.
What are you reading, listening to, or watching that you would love to share?
I am re-reading Call Of The Wild by Kimberly Ann Johnson. Whether you read it or not…my takeaway for you is to let out a delicious, liberating primal roar every once in a while (or every day!).
If you weren’t a therapist, what profession would you have?
Okay, wide spectrum here. I’d either be a pediatric orthopedic surgeon, a dance-fueled hype woman (it’s real, I swear), or a midwife. I was a birth doula for several years which was life changing, but birth is a beautifully spontaneous event which makes it tricky to manage a career as a therapist at the same time.
Why did you join the Dalliance team?
Dalliance caught my eye because of their bright and accepting nature. I feel understood at Dalliance and excited to learn as much as I can from the other clinicians. All of the clinicians offer such valuable perspectives and the collaboration of the team keeps me inspired to continue learning and re-evaluating my development as a therapist.
Dalliance in Practice
A Monthly Therapeutic Tool from Our Couch to Your Inbox
Intimacy Mapping
Structured Conversation to Explore and Deepen Connection
Conversation Prompts
- “I feel most connected to you when…”
- “I’d like to feel more connected in the area of…because…”
- “One thing I appreciate about how we connect is…”
Ground Rules:
- Use “I” statements.
- Practice reflective listening (repeat what you heard your partner say).
- No fixing, interrupting, or defending—just hear each other.
